On Speaking.

So I find it hard to talk to people sometimes. If I'm uncomfortable being around you, I will stumble on my words, hesitate and have largely incoherent sentences trip out of my mouth. Although, saying that, it's usually with people I know that this happens. I'm perfectly fine speaking to strangers most of time...

Whenever this happens to me, my bumbly mumbly self just freezes as a million and one thoughts try to escape through my mouth and my tongue gets tangled up in itself. I feel like my mouth cannot communicate my thoughts fast enough, and that the passage between my brain and mouth is a bottleneck where words get stuck and manage to let the rest of the words of that sentence out in a peculiar (and definitely disjointed) manner.

For some reason, which I find extremely weird, I can sit at my keyboard (like I am doing now) or with a pen and notebook, and spill my guts with absolutely no problem whatsoever. When I'm at the computer, the odd spelling mistake creeps in now and again but that's mainly due to touch typing really quickly (I'm not bragging, it's just the only effective way I've found of actually getting my thoughts out fast enough!) I guess it's due to the fact that I do take some time before I start "speaking" and I have to think of syntax and grammar, or sentences like this would happen way too often, and people would get lost in one of my ramble-y thoughts. I guess it's also because the pressure of having to respond immediately doesn't exist when I'm writing on here; I have time to think before I speak.

With the increased use of the internet to verify facts immediately or to "remember" something - an actor's name, what breed of dog it was that you saw outside Starbucks, etc - the response time people have in everyday conversation has become increasingly shorter. People of my generation need everything "right now," and I'm not saying I'm not one of those people: when it comes to information, I'm like that too. BUT. Due to this weird speech impediment I have developed, I am patient with people when they speak.

From a young age, I was always the listener. I remember long summer evenings at my paternal grandparent's house. They lived in the Greek countryside and the community of their village has always amazed me. I would sit and listen to all their stories, as friends came and sat with them for an hour or more or less. I'd sit there for hours, and bearing in mind I was maybe up to 5/6 years old at this point, it astounded my parents. How many 5 year-olds do you know that can sit in silence for hours?

Anyway, I guess my solution to this problem is to take a minute or two to form my sentences before I start speaking; maybe even taking a deep breath and counting to five will help. That's all for now... I've run out of words! Have a good day world :)