Love sucks

Being in love sucks. More specifically, being in love with someone who refuses to admit they love you back sucks. I have joined the damned of my generation apparently, spending about six months falling in love with someone only to be told: "it's only casual," "I don't do feelings" and "you're getting too attached." Maybe I come from a different planet, or maybe I'm just crazy, but to me, falling in love is second nature. It happens, regardless of whether or not I want it to, and I definitely can't control it.

I fall for the wrong people, I'm told. What does that even mean, "the wrong people?" I don't believe that there's right and wrong people. Yeah, OK, maybe that's naive of me, but I'm pretty sure you can't help who you're attracted to - otherwise those religious folk might have a leg to stand on when they try to "pray the gay away."

We would sit and just talk for hours on end, look at the clock and not even believe that three hours had gone by, not the twenty minutes it felt like. We shared a bed; we ate together; he supported me through one of the hardest moments of my life, all while I was a couple hundred miles away. What of this doesn't scream relationship? Perhaps my perspective in all this is warped; perhaps I have it all wrong and those six months meant absolutely nothing. Just last week though, he was telling me he missed me. Is he toxic? Do I just need to realise that he's the Jasper to my Iris, and all I need is to find my Miles?